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Internet Dating Safety Tips

Internet dating is a lot of fun and a terrific way to meet people.  The loving bonds you form online can lead to offline friendships, dating and marriage.

But as with all dating (online and off), you must be careful whom you meet.  Below are a few tips to help you have a safe and fulfilling experience.  This section is not meant to scare you, only to help prepare you and keep you safe.  A little caution goes a long way.

Below are a few Internet dating safety tips to get you started.

1.        Use common sense and exercise caution.

2.       Protect your anonymity.  Use an anonymous nickname.  Never include your last name, real email address, personal Web site URL, home address, phone number, place of work, or any other identifying information in your profile or initial emails you exchange with other members.  Also ensure your email signature file is turned off, or does not include identifying information.  If someone pressures you for this type of information, stop communicating with them immediately.   You should be very comfortable with the person before revealing any personal contact information.  Ask lots of questions and make sure you are happy with the answers.  I can’t stress this enough -- trust your instincts and move cautiously.  

3.       At first, communicate only via e-mail.  Ensure you are using an anonymous e-mail.  Avoid using an e-mail with your real name in it.  You can sign up for a hotmail account for free.

4.       Don’t rush things.  Do not become intimate (online or off) before you know the person very well.  You want to find someone to build a lasting trusting relationship with.  Sometimes when someone appears to be “too good too be true”, they are – avoid these people.

5.       Keep a lookout for odd behavior.  If the person makes you uncomfortable in ANY way, leave immediately.  You must trust your own instincts.  Do not worry about “What will they think?  I don’t want to embarrass myself.”  Who cares!  Protecting yourself is your only concern.

6.       Write facts down that the person tells you.  This will allow you to look for inconsistencies.  Pay special attention to their age, appearance, marital status, if they have children, occupation, employment status, and interests / hobbies.

7.       Ask for a photo.  This will not only allow you to see the person’s appearance, it may also give you a gut feeling – either good or bad.  It’s best to view several photos of the person in different setting to help you get a better idea of their personality.  If they don’t want to give you one, move on.  Lots of people will.

8.       If you are ready to move to the next level, talk via the telephone.  You can learn a lot from a person’s communication and social skill when you’re on the phone.  At first, don’t call from your home phone – you want to keep your home and work phone numbers anonymous.  Try phoning from a pay phone – perhaps from the library or the mall.  Only when you are comfortable, should you call from home and disclose your home number.

If you set up times to call each other, try to call at an unscheduled time.  If this person really is your friend or soul mate, they will be happy to hear from you at any time.  If they are not, then they may be trying to hide something.  Perhaps a wife or husband?  At any rate, they are not worth your time.  Also listen for any background voices.   Do they have anyone of the opposite sex?  If so, maybe inquire innocently as to whom you hear.   Do you hear children?  Did they mention they had kids?  If not, oh oh…

9.       Only meet when YOU are READY.  The wonderful thing about online dating, is that you can get to know someone from the safety of your home.  Then when you fully trust the person, you can meet in person.  Do not be pressured into meeting someone – you may decide you only want an online relationship.  This is truly acceptable.  If they truly cared about you, they would not pressure you.   And remember, even if you did decide to meet the person, you have the right to change your mind.

10.    Watch for warning signs such as:

• Bursts of anger or frustration.  
• Attempts to pressure to control you.
• If they refuse to speak to you on the phone, then they may have something to hide.
• Will they only give you a paper number or work phone number?
• Do they avoid questions?
• When you meet them in person, do they appear significantly different then they described themselves?
• Do they avoid introducing you to family and friends?

11.   If meeting offline, ensure you let someone know when, where and who you are meeting.  Also let them know when you will be returning home.  Ensure you give a friend your date’s home phone number.  Bring a cell phone with you, and ask them to call you during your date to ensure everything is running smoothly.  When your date is over, call your friend or family member and let them know you are back from your date.

12.   Select a safe environment to meet in person. 

• Do not go to their house or invite them to yours.
• Do not arrange for your date to pick you up or drive you home.    Provide your own transportation – don’t walk incase they follow you.
• Meet in a familiar public place at a time when you’re sure there will be lots of people around.   A familiar coffee shop or restaurant is a great choice.  If you know a place where you know some of the employees, it would be excellent – please ensure they are working at the time of your date.
• Do not go anywhere secluded. 
• Avoid hikes, walks, bike rides, and overnight excursions.
• If during your date, you both decide to move to a different location, take your own car.  Do not go in the same vehicle or bus with your date.  If you’re uncomfortable about moving, say your goodbyes early.  You are not committed to going with them.

13.   Use extra caution if not meeting in your area.  If you are flying in for your date, arrange for your own hotel room and car.  Do not give the name of your hotel to your date.  Under no circumstances allow your date to make your hotel or car arrangements.  Drive or taxi to your predetermined meeting place.  If it looks secluded, unsafe or inappropriate, turn around, and head back to your hotel.  Call your date from a payphone in the hotel and arrange a different location.  If the location gave you the creeps, then cancel your date altogether, and head home!  Always ensure a friend or family member has your contact information and knows when and where you are meeting your date.  Carry a cell phone with you at all times.  When your date is over, call your friend or family member and let them know you are back from your date.

14.   Uncomfortable, and want to end your date in a hurry?  If you feel unsure or are getting a bad vibe, get out right away.  If your date scares you in any way, don’t second guess yourself – get out.  Excuse yourself, and either leave out the back door and drive home, or call a friend or family member to pick you.  Don’t wait for your friend outside – stay in view of other patrons.  If you are really scared, call the police or talk to the manager of the establishment you are in.  Explain the situation and ask if you can with them.  Don’t be embarrassed or worry about your behavior.  Your safety is all that matters.  Not the opinion of someone you don’t trust.

15.   Never give out your personal financial information.  If they ask you for money, move on.

So now that you know how how to stay safe while internet dating, are you ready to get out there and meet your true love?

I thought so. 

Join the best online dating sites and meet your dream date today.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:  (c) 2004. Dating Services 4U (http://www.datingservices4u.com) is a comprehensive web site which enhances your ability to succeed in online dating.  Most popular dating sites are listed, reviewed, and organized alphabetically and by category. Also has newsletters, glossary, dating tips and much more!  Visit  Dating Services 4U today, and start meeting people!

When you're ready, review all the wonderful dating sites available, post your personal ad, then start mingling.

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